I am not one to just sit and do nothing. My favorite part of this process so far was the beginning. The excitement and all of the running around gathering documents and shipping them off at lightening speed to various places was great fun! I felt in control and "all powerful". We were gettin' er done and we controlled how fast things were moving. Waiting is not my best character trait. I am a doer by nature and I can't stand it when I am on the sittin' end of things waiting on someone else to do something!!
Ugh.
I have to exercise much control a lot of the time and restrain myself from ordering yet another waiting children DVD. See? Doer. If they won't give me a referral, I will go looking for my child.....not gonna sit and wait for someone else to do something that I can do just as well myself! Hmph! ---Problem--- The waiting children DVD only has older children and siblings on it. Not that I wouldn't want an older child or siblings....I would. It's just that when we started this journey we decided that because of our family dynamics, for our first adoption......(wink wink....meaning more to be added later......don't read this part if your name is Todd Pastoor) we really needed a little girl younger than our youngest. The fact that poor Chloe has no female sibling anywhere close to her age and 2 big brothers that most of the time don't want to include her in what they are doing (although they are very patient with her...most of the time) is why we thought she really needed a sister around her age. Our request of a little girl was also because Chloe acts more like a boy than she does a girl. She doesn't really know how to play like a girl and when she does have girls to play with, they are usually stunned by the roughness of how she plays!! She definitely needs a sister to do "girl" things with.
So, we continue to wait..... But now wondering about the fact that since this has been taking way longer than it was taking when we started the process....do we up the age that we are requesting? Chloe will be 5 in September. At the beginning of this we thought that we would have our baby by now and she and Chloe would be 2-3 years apart. Now they could be 4 or more years apart. What do we do? Not sure.....still trying to figure this one out.
So I go back to waiting and I will leave you with this thought from a book that was given to me by a dear friend. This friend is also waiting. Her family is behind us in the process by a little bit and Michelle and I help each other during our rougher times. It has been so nice to have her there, even though she is miles away and I have never met her in person! So thanks Michelle for being there, and for lending me this book! <3
This is from the chapter "Seasons of Waiting":
...But once the family makes a decision to adopt, they feel the excitement of a new season....like stepping outside and seeing the crocuses that have begun pushing their way through the dirt. Bright blooms must be just around the corner.
But sometimes those flowers grow more slowly than we would like. Yes, spring is a season of tulips and green grass, warmer temperatures and the promise of summer. But it is also a season of rain, mud and even a thundershower or two.
....In order to get to the new life of summer, we may have to wade through a few mud puddles.
**Thank you God, for the promise of rainbows and also for "new life" through our adoption and for the anticipation of enjoying "summer" in our family, which I realize may come only after plenty of stormy days**
Have a great day...
Wendy
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